sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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