ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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