Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
