Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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