I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
