You work out of a Hotel?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
