i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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