Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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