Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
