We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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