And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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