need another drink. this is the easiest way
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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