Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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