Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
