i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
