***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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