It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
