I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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