No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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