if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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