Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
