im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
