whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
