so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
