I feel great
I just peed on a car
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
A bitchslap is in order.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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