so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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