Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
