How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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