I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
