quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
