Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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