i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
