just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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