I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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