im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
