Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
