do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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