He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
