8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
