you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
two words: eviction party
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need to calm my uterus...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
