That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
