I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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