Jerry, you need to find god
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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