he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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