yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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