Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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