even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
