I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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