happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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