u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
