big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
