Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
